Fabby, Gorgey, and Sometimes Scary Potatoes!
by Miss Pink Martini
Summary: My first Georgia fanfic.  After Love is a Many Trousered Thing.  What will Georgia do about Masimo and Dave the Laugh?  What about her possible trip to Italy?  Rated T just in case.  R and R is appreciated.
1. Ciao, Pizzaagogo!

**Disclaimer: You know the drill: I do not own any of these characters or the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series**.

Sunday June 11th

12:08 AM

I am once again full of confusinosity. And on the rack of love. Again. Triple poo and also _merde_. I am on the rack of love so often I might as well buy a vacation home there.

Seven minutes later

I must eschew Dave the Laugh with a firm hand. Although I never actually succeed in the eschewing part.

Two minutes later

When we stopped the snogging extravaganza for air, Dave looked at me for a long time and then said "What am I going to do with you, Georgia?"

That in itself was odd, as he always calls me "Gorgeous" or "Kittykat", etc. Then I blurted out,

"I think the queen has lost her crown, let me go find it!" and ran for the tent.

I couldn't think of anything sane to say to him, and the moment was sort of awkward, so I could only run. I went to find Jas, but she was off stalking badgers with Hunky. _Tres tres _sad and thrice pathetico. I grabbed Rosie and managed to tear her away from Sven and dragged her back to the tent. I just couldn't tell her what happened, and was just sitting there thinking and thinking when she said, "Cracking time, wasn't it? Even when Sven knocked down the tent!" Then she laughed like a loon. So I am all alone in my two-time-osity. I can't tell Jas what happened or she'll never let it go, on and on she'll tell me how sorry I should feel, etc. etc. Life does not get any more crap.

In the tent

6:24 AM

Woke from sleep by loud giggled and shhhh-ing near the tent. I peeked under the canvas and almost wet myself with shock on the spot. There, hand in hand, were Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer! Oh my giddygodspajamas! I could do nothing but watch with horrified fascination as they giggled off into the woods together. I think I'll just go back to sleep and never think about this again. Maybe it's all just some bad nightmare. I hope.

Breakfast

9:32 AM

Sadly, my forgetting-about-the-Miss-Wilson-and-Herr-Kamyer-fiasco plan didn't work, as the mental image of them snogging on a fallen tree is branded into my brain. Oh, the torture. I told the whole ace gang about it and the all cried "Erlack, erlack! Disgusting!" about a million times, which is about the sanest thing you can say when that picture wedges itself into your brain.

Miss Wilson is eating next to Herr Kamyer, who has never before so expertly portrayed his role as dithering champion for the German nation. They keep glancing at each other, turning bright red, and go back to their eggs and milky coffee. Honestly. They have no pride to speak of.

On the bus

11:29 AM

Finally, on our way back to civilization! The word is from Jas that the lads left early this morning to avoid being seen, but this was the only useful information she could tell me. Then it was all "Oooh, we found some vole droppings," and "There was a badger that looked right at us, and I think it winked!"

"Jas."

"What?"

"Shut up."

Then she got all huffy-knickers with me. And then she did the worst thing of all:

"So what did you and Dave talk about when you snuck off to the river?"

I couldn't believe her! Right in front of everyone, and what could I say?

"Er, we just, you know, chatted, and…that's it."

She gave me a look that was not what you'd call understanding for someone who is supposedly my besty and loves me.

At home

4:02 PM

Nobody greeted me when I got home, so as usual to give a hint I shouted, "Good afternoon, Georgia! So lovely to see you! Did you have a nice time? Let me get you a bowl of the delicious soup I have just made for you and-"

"Georgia, SHUT UP." Came my darling vati's reply from the couch. Lovely. I dragged myself up the stairs and into my bedroom, where I threw myself into bed (which was quite painful as Libby had left scuba-diving Barbie in it and one of her steel-fork arms jabbed me in the back.) Oooh, what will I do about Masimo? I know the answer, though: I will stay true to him and put an end to my fresh outbreak of red bottom.

9:48 PM

I am vair, vair, and triple vair excited! My parents, in a rare fit of sanity, have said I can go to visit the Luuurve God in Pizza-a-gogo land! I leave Wednesday and will be staying for a week. I'm going to phone Masimo right now to tell him.

10:14 PM

Just finished phoning the Italian Stallion, which did not take long because I couldn't think of much to say. I was interrupted by Libby, who had Mr. Carrot, her new "fwend", and Our Lord Sandra with her and tried to make me read her a new book, "Black Beauty", about a horse and some soppy nitwits who brush it. I just got her to bother Mum instead and have begun my beautifying regime.

5 minutes later

When I phoned, Masimo's vati answered.

"Ciao."

"Er, ciao, ah I have phoniod to talkio to Masimo. Is he…Er, therio?"

"I do speak English, miss."

"Oh! Well…"

"Here he is."

"Ciao." It was Masimo.

Oh my giddygodspajamas, he sounded sooooo gorgey on the phone. Was my eyeliner on straight?

"Err…Ciao. How's Italy? Anyway, I called to tell you…My parents are letting me come and see you!!!"

"Ah, Georgia, caro, this is great! When are you coming?"

"Wednesday!"

"Ah, this is good, I am, how you say, on the edge of the seat waiting for you."

Awwww, he is so sweet. Although he doesn't nip libble very much. Shut up, brain.

12:42 AM

Pizza-a-gogo, here I come!!!

The Park

12:43 PM

Jas and I are laying on blankets, chatting and lad spotting. She forgot already that she is supposed to be ignorez-vousing me. Sad. I said to her,

"Guess what, Jas? My M and V have decided to let me go to the Luuurve God in Pizza-a-gogo! Fab, isn't it?"

"You mean he hasn't realized that you are too mad to go out with?"

I resisted the urge to hit her. She had pulled out a little mirror from her handbag and was fiddling with her fringe. Avoiding slapping her hand (tempting), I said with all the dignosity I could muster,

"No, and he wants to see me sooner than when he comes home. I'm leaving in two days. What should I wear on the plane? Go for comfort with small accessories to liven it up, or go for the "I have such effortless beauty I can wear what ever I want and be comfortable" look with a short skirt and roll neck top?"

"What I want to know is, what _really_ happened with you and Dave at the campsite on Saturday?"

"I can't tell you, it is a secret that will be with me forever."

Home

1:52 PM

Packing for my Luuurve trip. Jas has been lecturing me for the past 40 years (I accidently told her that Dave the Laugh snogged me by the river. I didn't tell her that he had said he loved me, because I'm not exactly sure what he meant. He did say "You are an honorary bloke" in the same sentence, so you never know.)

On the bright side, Ellen is now seeing Dec and so might not tear off my head and put it on a stake outside my house if she finds out about me and Dave. Now, on to more important things. Should I pack my boy entrancers? Yes, definitely, there might be some marvy Pizza-a-gogo club Masimo will want to bring me to. Oh, the excitementosity. I have one suitcase for makeup, and two for clothes. Vati made me promise to only bring two suitcases, but you can't have everything. I am going to implode I am so excited! And also a bit nervous about flying all aloney on my owny all the way to Pizza-a-gogo.

3:31 PM

Phone is ringing. Ring, ring, ring. I yelled, "You all just lay around drinking veno tinto, and your tired daughter, exhausted from her grueling days in the wilderness, will get the phone." My darling Mum yelled back, "Okay, thanks!" Honestly. Tramp, tramp, down the stairs, answer the phone.

Five minutes later

It was Dave the Laugh! He wants to meet me for a coffee later. Fan-bloody-tastic, now I'll have to do my hamster coffee thing to avoid the Santa Clause moustache thing so popular with the severely deranged.

3:59 PM

What should I wear? Jeans or skirt? Damn, why do I always have to go through this? I'm going for the skirt, and that is it.

One minute later

I've decided against the boy entrancers, as I do not want to seem too keen. Which I am not. And I'm wearing my jeans.

Ten minutes later

Oh, bloody hell. Libby has just thrown a jar of tomato sauce at me by accident when she tripped over Our Lord Sandra on the way up the stairs. I won't even ask where she got a jar of tomato sauce or why she was carrying it. Change top, put on skirt….

4:22 PM

And I'm off!

**My first ever fanfic. R+R appreciated. I love you all!**


	2. Santa and the Snog

**7:30 PM**

**Home**

Oh my god. I have never been in more of a state of confusinosity. What shall I do?

**7 minutes later**

When I got there, Dave was already at a booth with two coffees. Mine was a cappuccino.

Damn.

He said, "Hello there, gorgeous. Miss me?"

"I just saw you about two days ago."

He pretended to be hurt.

"Alright, Miss Georgia, fine. So anyway, I have come to tell you not to get too weird about Saturday. I know how you can get and…Well, it's not fair on Emma or the Handbag Horse or whatever you call him if we-"

"Dave."

"-If we keep on like this in secret. I know I said that luuurve is a many trousered thing but you can't just keep seeing Masimo like this and-"

"Oooh, I forgot to tell you-I'm visiting him in Pizza-a-gogo Land this Wednesday! Fabby, isn't it?"

He looked a bit sad then. Then he said "Yeah, fabby…"

I began my hamster coffee method very discreetly. I definitely didn't want him to notice that I was sipping coffee like a hamster in a skirt. No he definitely wasn't noticing, my plan was worki-

"Georgia, why in the name of Hitler's pants are you sipping your coffee like a hamster?"

"Well…You see, when I sip it like a hamster, I avoid the Santa Claus moustache effect that you get from all the foam on a cappuccino."

Dave looked at me like I was mad. Then he just snogged me! Right there in the coffee shop! In front of everyone. What if Ellen was there? Although she does have Dec, but she probably still would be mad at me for snogging Dave and…"

As my brain chattered away to itself, Dave pulled away from me. He said, "Come on, sex kitty, I'm meeting the lads and some of your mates at the clock tower in a few minutes. Come with me?"

I was still a bit shocked, but I said, "OK."

**2 minutes later**

As we were walking towards the clock tower, Dave had his arm around me. It was nice, in a mates-type sort of way. We were just sort of chatting about everything when I said, "So what do you think about me going to Italy? I bet Masimo has gotten me some great Pizza-a-gogo prezzie. What do you think?"

He glanced at me. Then he said, "I hope you have fun, I guess, kitty cat, but I'll miss you."

"It's only for a week!"

"That's enough for anyone. You'll be scarred by all the sports bras and pink high heels. And the women are just as bad."

"Dave, don't even start…"

We arrived at the clock tower just then, and I saw that Emma was there. Dave quickly took his arm off me. I don't think she noticed, though. We all started heading for the town square. Jas was rambling on about how she and Hunky had been on a nature walk (honestly, the wildlife around here must be scarred for life by now) so I turned my attention to Rosie, who was taking a bit of a break from being practically eaten by Sven. She said, "So I hear you are going to visit the Italian Stallion next week."

I said, "Yes, and it is going to be marvy."

"Are you bringing your boy entrancers?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Miss Oh My the Boy Entrancers Have Stuck Together and Now I'm Stumbling About With My Eyes Closed?"

I biffed her on the arm, which made it go paralyzed, and she almost knocked Rollo out. I think he may have lasting damage.

**1 minute later**

Most of the gang went into a shop for a minute, leaving Tom and I alone outside. I said, "Don't you ever get bored of going on nature rambles? The badgers probably flee in terror from the sound of a twig snapping from the trauma of you two."

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess sometimes I do…"

Then he looked at me really strangely. He took a step toward me.

He said quietly, "The thing is, Gee…I've been looking for a way to end it with Jas for a while. I can…sort of see what Robbie saw in you."

What? What? I didn't have time to think any more because Tom leaned in and KISSED me.

He sort of leaned forward so I was against the building. I was just thinking, what

next?, but then I heard a sort of shocked "Oh!" from the shop doorway, and when I turned, my stomach dropped. Dave narrowed his eyes, opened his mouth, shut it again, and went back into the shop.

I pushed Tom away from me.

"Georgia, I-"

I ran, because I didn't know what else to do. There WAS nothing else I could do.

I can't believe Dave saw me. What if he tells Jas? How will I tell him it was a mistake?

Life can not get any pooier.

**8:42 PM**

Now what?

**To my reviewers- thanks for the support! I couldn't bother with suspense because I just had to update. Oh well. Hope you liked the new chappie!**


	3. Sniffle, sob, hiccup

In my bed of pain

**In my bed of pain**

**11:37 AM**

Well, this is it. My life is over. If Jas finds out about this, she will bludgeon me to death. With a stick.

**3 minutes later**

Phone rang. If it's Tom trying to explain himself, I'll have a nervy spaz.

**At the phone**

"Hello, this is the receptionist for your local freak show speaking, how may I help you?"

"Georgia, the worst p-possible thing that could possibly ever possibly h-h-happen has happened!"

Ohhhhh no. It was Jas, she had Ellen syndrome, and she was blubbing.

"Tom has, he, it, he has, I don't know, know why, he, he…"

Sob, sniffle, gulp, hiccup.

"D-dumped me!"

Oh god. I was deader than a dead weasel on dead pills. Possibly even deader.

"Oh my god, Jas, did he say why?"

"N-no, he said, he said, he said, that he, said, that he, said. What do y-you think?"

"Er, no, that definitely wasn't clear of him."

"No, h-he wasn't. I d-don't even know what I, I did wr-wr-wrooooong!"

Then she burst into uncontrollable sobs.

**Half hour later**

Jas has come round, and she is currently spraying my duvet cover with snot and watered down mascara. I have gone to the kitchen to make her my special milky pops drink to help calm her down, although it's probably hopeless.

When I came up she was sobbing so much that she couldn't breathe and was turning quite purple. I tried to get her to stop crying so hard but failed.

She has started to take on an alarming shade of neon. This can't be good.

**2 minutes later**

Jas finally calmed down when she had been choking to within an inch of her life. Now she is sipping her milky coffee and crying silently. She will never get over this. I feel horriblimus, but I can't ever tell her. Perhaps I will years and years from now, but not today or any time in the near future.

"Georgia?"

"What is it, Jas?"

"Why do you think that he, that he dumped me? He s-said that he thought that we needed a break from eachother to f-figure ourselves out. What does that m-mean?"

"Err, I, I, oooh…I'm not sure."

She gave me a weird look, but then went back to sniffling into her mug. She is going to stay over tonight to ease her Tom-induced pain.

**Tuesday**

**12:19 PM**

Jas has just gone. She still isn't able to form coherent sentences, but time heals all wounds.

I've gone for a walk in the park to clear my head. It's soooo hot I have brought some juice in a bottle with me in case I get severe dehydration and die on a deserted park pathway. I have Angus with me, but he's eaten through so much of his lead that it is threatening to break any minute. That's when I noticed Tom leaning against the tree ahead of me. Clearly "out of sight, out of mind" would work right about now, so if I can just hide behind this bush and-

"Georgia! Georgia, come over here, I want to talk with you!"

Damn. I walked over very slowly, dreading what he would say. He looked quite upset for someone who has just callously dumped his long-time girlfriend.

"Georgia…I've dumped Jas. It just wasn't right, we just didn't have that… that spark anymore. It wasn't fair to her, and I sort of started fancying you…"

I said, "Oh, I see. So you just dump the girl you've been going out with for two years for her best mate and expect me to go along with it? Tom, she is my BEST MATE. It's not like we could go out anyway! And I only like you as a mate!"

"Georgia…That's not how it happened. I didn't mean to…" He looked really miserable. Then he said softly, "How is she?"

"She just spent the whole night sobbing and wondering what she did wrong!"

I was speechlessly angry. I just turned on my heel and left.

**10 minutes later**

I still can't believe how cheeky Tom is. Although he did look quite sad about what he has done to Jas. Perhaps I am being too harsh…Anyway, onto more important things. I've just finished packing for Italy, which I leave for tomorrow. I am sooooo excited! I'm going to put Tom and Dave the Laugh behind me and enjoy Pizza-a-Gogo Land.

I am soooo happy, I will never sleep! I'll just go…and put some…rollers…in...my hair…and…zzzzzzz.

**4:21 PM**

I wonder if Dave is thinking about me right now….Shut up, brain.

**8 minutes later**

Really, though, I wonder if he is. He looked very miffed when he saw my accidental snog with Tom…Maybe I should call him? No, I don't want to seem keen.

**3 minutes later**

Dave's phone is ringing. Oh god, what if he answers?

"Hello, sensation seeker."

Oh god's footie pajamas! What should I say? Should I hang up? He might be angry with me. He could have a strop and tell Jas what happened.

"Hello?"

Then I realized that about 5,000 years had gone by since he had answered. I managed to say "Mmmrgghffff." Whatever that means.

"…What? Georgia, is that you?"

"Err, well, yes, Dave, it is, I mean, if you're, I mean…" Oh good god, I've turned into Ellen.

"Georgia."

He didn't sound ecstatic at hearing from me. That wasn't a good sign. I don't like the way he's said my name.

"Georgia, are you having a fit? You sound like you're sort of gagging."

Oh no, in my worrying I'd started making a choking sound. Blimey, he probably thinks I'm a tense gagging orangutan now. An orangutan in a skirt. Bloody fantastic.

"Listen, Dave, I really…"

"No, Georgia. You don't. I can't believe you would do that to Jas. And me."

And then he hung up. Merde. Merde. Poo.

5:03 PM

I think I will go for a walk to calm my nerves.

10 minutes later

Oh, no. There's Mark Big Gob. He's seen me. Oh, nooooo….


End file.
